My life has just taken an unexpected turn! We just found out recently…very recently, that we are moving to Arizona! My husband got a great job. We will be leaving this morning to find a house there, we currently live in California. The house is all packed up and ready to go and the moving truck will be here next Monday! Guys, I’m freaking out! I’m so excited! This is proof that God does hear our cries and He answers. Not always in our timing or in our ways, but He answers. Arizona, in the past, was not my first choice as we discussed where we would live if we could move. But I have grown to love the idea of the place and have heard almost nothing but good things about it.
I have been so proud of myself over the last few days as I have dealt with all of this. Yes, I have had some panic attacks and I have to stop helping more then I like due to pain. Overall it’s been a success! I have complete peace about it and know, that I know, that I know that THIS is God’s plan…Amen!
I have always struggled with my purpose in this life. I’m sure like many of you, feeling like what you do is not enough. I am not a missionary, a pastor, a doctor, or anything fancy like that. I am a stay at home mom. I have days where I want to try to get a job…try, I would’t last 1 day at a real job. I’m still too unstable and sick. Still the desire is there. Sometimes I feel like I wish I contributed more to the family, money wise.
Yesterday I woke up feeling like this. I felt worthless in what I do, as a stay at home mom. Sure, I have my own passions and dreams that God has given me. One of my desires is to love the homeless and the sick. To shine my light on those who are hurting. The Lord has blessed me with many opportunities to do so already. I just lose sight of all that sometimes and want to do more. Which is an insult to God and the dreams He has given me. I struggled all day with this problem. I was able to be ministered to by my dear friend. She made me see that everything I do at home is important. And that everything I do to do to the glory of His kingdom. That the little things matter. Sweeping the floor, picking up after my children, supporting my husband, loving my children… all a gift from God. And in by doing so I am fulfilling His plan and purpose for my life. I knew what she was saying to be true and yet my mind still struggled.
This morning I woke up to find a note on my desk from my middle child. It read:
Thank you for being the best mom in the world! You always do a lot for me and I just wanted to say thank you. I love you with all my heart!
What a blessing! God has worked even in the midst of my struggles through one of my children. Keep in mind she is only 10. I knew then and there that I AM important. As if that wasn’t enough, the Lord than gave me word, Philippians 4:11, Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.
Lord, you have touched my heart today! I am thankful for an opportunity to help raise a family for your glory. To do your will.