I am amazed at the “He did it again” moments daily. It is only 7:45 in the morning and God has already “done it”! I was scrolling through Facebook and came upon one of those “your memory from this day” posts. I usually keep on scrolling and never reshare these. This time I noticed it was a a share from my blog that I had posted on this day in 2011. I have only shared my blog posts on Facebook a couple of times. As I read this post from my blog I am in complete amazement. Even at that time in my life I KNEW God had a plan. A bigger picture to be seen later on in my life. This post is a heavy reminder on how faithful God is and has been to me. He gave me promises at that time and I am now seeing some of things come to pass. Full circles, a complete 360 overhaul of my life. I want to share this post with you from 2011. God is good ALL the time. His mercy endures forever!
Written January 25th, 2011
1 1/2 ago I got really sick. Something happened. I still don’t know what brought it on, but it changed my life forever.
I blacked out at home and stopped breathing for several seconds. My poor husband in total panic, stood over my fragile body and prayed life over me. After that everything changed. These so called “episodes” started happening daily. Sometimes there would be a trigger of some sort, other times for no reason at all.
Along with these episodes came uncontrollable shaking, immobilization, shear panic, insomnia, constant dizziness and disorientation, to name a few. Did I mention I have 3 children under the age of 7.
What was wrong with me? The doctors ran every test they could and found nothing. I was sent to a specialist aka the Crazy Head Doctor. After a year with him…..nothing. No diagnosis at least not anything that made sense.
My God, My Provider, My Strength where have you gone, I felt.
I can’t live like this. I can barley get out of bed. But every morning I fight ,because I AM Victorious through Christ Jesus. I have a theory about my life and am convinced it to be true.
My God created me. He is a purposeful God with a plan and a future for my life. He is in complete control of my life and is working amidst my struggles. He has blessed me throughout all my trials with my salvation,a home, my children, and a wonderful husband. He is my peace when I am restless. My joy when I am in sorrow. My strength when I am so weak. He has sustained my life when doctors told me I didn’t have much time to live. And daily He is performing life changing miracles for Me…just for Me…unworthy, sinful me. Why? Because even though I have a tendency to lean on my own understanding, He forgives me for that and quietly reassures me that as long as I continue to seek Him first that His plan is bigger then what I can see in front of me.
I still don’t know fully the gravity of this situation, but I know that My God is in control. “Trust Me” He says. “You have already won the battle for I go before you and have fought so you may be victorious”. I stand on this promise.
Yesterday was a tough day for me. Everything felt like it was crashing down. My health, financial burdens, guilt. I didn’t feel like living anymore.
“Oh you of little faith” a quit whisper in my soul. “Trust me” He says.
Oh Lord!, I cried out. Save me from myself. I am my worst enemy at times.
Let me tell you that Satan looks for any open door he can find to come in and steal your life from you. But My God promises Life and not death! Stand on this my friends. Stand on His promises. He is faithful beyond our comprehension.
As I continue my struggle, today is a new day, and even though I feel sick today I will praise Him through this storm. What will he do today? Anticipate His blessings, friends. He longs to shower them upon you. He loves you more then you love yourself. And thank God for that!
2 Corinthians 12:9